Hilariously Funny Excuses Students Give for Not Doing Homework
List of Excuses
The list is compiled below, you can take your pick from them; but here's a warning, don't expect them to work always, as eventually, they are excuses!?
- I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
- I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
- I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually reach it.
- I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this morning I couldn't find it.
- I was kidnapped by terrorists and they just didn't let me go, so I didn't have time to do it.
- I locked the paper in my trunk, but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.
- I mistook it for a letter and sent/emailed it overseas.
- I took time out to snack a dough-nut and a cup of coffee. I spent the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk.
- I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.
- It was Isaac Newton's birthday.
- I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to my teacher's heavy workload.
- A bunch of nerds stole it to make sure theirs were completely perfect.
- It was in my pocket and mom/cleaning lady washed my uniform.
- My mother took it to have it framed.
- It was in my back pocket and a pickpocket stole it.
- I let somebody copy it, but they never gave it back.
- I was reading it on the way home and the wind blew it away.
- I left it at home.
- The dog/cat/hamster/bird/fish ate it.
- It must have fallen out of my folder/bag.
- I couldn't figure out whether I am the square of negative one or I is the square root of negative one.
- My brother/sister/friend made it into a paper airplane and it landed on the roof.
- My skimpy printer ran out of ink.
- I left it at school overnight so I couldn't do it.
- The sink was full of water and it fell in.
- Aliens took it as a sample of human handwriting.
- I got mugged on the way home.
- I was too busy to do it.
- It was put in the paper shredder by accident.
- You (the teacher) left it here after I gave it in last lesson and another teacher threw it out by accident.
- I fed it to the pet/baby/one of those plants that can eat anything.
- Someone told me there was no homework.
- It's in my locker and the key's at home/in the locker.
- I thought it was due tomorrow/next week.
- Paint got splattered all over it.
- I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged.
- It was used as a rag.
- The FBI/Federal Police needed it for vital evidence.
- The computer exploded.
- I swapped bags/folders and I must have left it in the other one.
- It spontaneously combusted and vaporized.
- My sibling's friend showed me how he could eat paper.
- We had to light the fire.
- It flew out the car window.
- The baby tore it up.
- What homework?
A Creative Example
This excuse is especially useful in less populated sections of the country, but variations of it will work anywhere. It's called the Hiker's Dilemma and goes as follows:
You won't believe what happened (your teacher will undoubtedly agree with your opening statement). I was at the library writing my essay on The Declaration of Independence and I got so involved in it that I lost track of time and missed the bus. I stopped off for a bite to eat at Montezuma's cafe and called my Mom for a ride home. She was unable to come, on account of her lupus (the goal is to create sympathy; any disease will do), so I decided to make the long trek home...through the woods. After about an hour of walking and reciting our nation's founding document, Montezuma got his revenge on my stomach. I had no choice but to run behind a bush and squat. I averted one disaster, but my troubles weren't over. I had no toilet paper. I searched through my backpack and all I could find was my essay that I had just written. I struggled for over eight minutes, not knowing what to do. I finally decided to sacrifice the essay. I have it in my locker if you want me to get it. It's pretty disgusting though.........