I chose to write about a difficult decision I had to make years ago. I had to choose between leaving my family in hope of employment, or continue to let tax money support all of us. It was the best decision I have ever made. Starting truly from nothing, to living a normal happy life, and none of this was possible without my wife. She is the true warrior. She stuck by me through this whole thing. She always supported my decisions. It was a very confusing time in my life, but I had to do what was best for my family.
In March of 2008, I was married to my wife, Lorene. I was 18 years old and ready to start a family. I was stupid. I made decent money working construction, but never expected to be laid off. My first son was born in October of 2008. So I got the family that I wanted, I just didn’t have a job now.
We lived in Yucca Valley, California, where my Mother rented a home to us. She was a recovering alcoholic. She lived in Arizona with her husband at the time. Her name was Lari Lee Packer. I know, boys first name. Doctors told her that if she ever drank alcohol again, she would die. After I told her husband many times not to bring alcohol in the house, he continued. So in January of 2009, my Mother spent a few weeks drinking with her husband, and died. She was 44 years old. Immediately after her death, people were calling, and showing up at my Mother’s house in California. A lot of the people that showed up wanted me to sign papers to take over my Mother’s debt. My older brother had already advised me to refuse. The other party of people that came were there only to inform us that we had 24 hours to get out.
My life was falling apart. We didn’t have any family in the area, nor any transportation. I was terrified. We ended up staying at a motel for two weeks, then moved down to the city of San Bernardino, where we lived with Lorene’s sister. Another year went by and we were still on welfare, and poorer than ever. I had nothing but my family, and a hard choice to make. I could stay and hope things would get better, or fly to my brother’s house in North Carolina and seek employment. It felt like such a long shot, but I had to do what was right. I couldn’t continue to feel useless. I made a family, just to be unable to provide for them. So I took the risk and flew to my brother’s house.
I walked two miles down the railroad tracks everyday, to go apply for jobs. On the fourth day, I was hired at McDonalds and a gas station. It sounds pathetic, but I no longer had standards since I was unemployed for so long. I would work endless hours, only to come home, collapse on my brother’s couch for four hours, get up and do it again. I continued this schedule for three weeks before deciding to leave McDonalds. By the time I received my last check from McDonalds, I had saved enough money, and flew my family to North Carolina.
In conclusion, it was a difficult decision to leave my family and venture into the unknown, but it was the best decision I have ever made. I think people need to remind themselves from time to time, “what is best for the family”? I now work as a hotel desk clerk, and I have a lot of free time. After discovering how much free time was available, I had to further pursue my education. So here I am, and that’s what’s best for my family.
Please give me any feedback(grammatical errors, sturcture, usuage...) Thank you all~!
Descrive a particular time in your life wehn you had difficulty making an important decision. Identify the situation and explain whether you were able to resolve the problem. If it was resolved, how? If not, why not-what happened?
We have come across many decisions that we have to make walking on the road of life. Some decisions might be easy to decide, but others might be difficult to make because it would change one's life in many aspects. One such decision that falls into the latter category is the marriage. The marriage is one of the difficult decisions because it is the matter that two people who grew up in the different backgrounds, and have different viewpoints live together in later their life. As for me, however, I had another reason which made me feel difficult to decide the marriage besides the reason mentioned above. That was the matter of decision of which country I would live.
The first time that I met my current husband was when I went to Los Angeles from China for studying English. He was also a student there and we felt in love at the first sight. After I finished my studying and went back to China, we continued relationship as a lover apart from each other for 10 years. In 2006, my husband proposed me, and I faced the difficult choice that I had ever made.
The decision that I marry him was not difficult one because we got through many things together for 10 years, and built true love and trust, being apart from each other though. However, since he lives and works in the U.S, I was required to decide the immigration into the U.S. for living together. It was the tough decision because I had to give up many important and meaningful things in my life such as sharing my time with my family members, and close friends, as well as my stable career in China. In addition, I was also afraid to live in other country because of the language barrier, and cultural differences. However, I finally decided to get marry him and move to the U.S. because I did not want to break up with him.
At the first time when I moved to here, it was hard time for me living in new country as I expected. However, after times go by, I am getting accustomed to new life, making various friends, enjoying more relaxed and comfortable life compared to very busy and hectic life in Korea. Most of all, I finally found out the way to become a teacher at public school which is my long-cherished dream, but I could not realize it in China. Although I sometimes miss my family members, I am now satisfied with my new life living with my lovely husband, being with new friends, and making an effort to come true my dream.
First I will talk about content and then about grammar and style. You've made a good choice concerning which difficult decision to discuss, as this was a truly difficult and significant decision for you. I notice that, while you discuss the many reasons the decision was difficult, you do not share much about your decision making process.
Also I notice that the essay begins weakly and ends without a true conclusion. For a stronger overall essay, begin with the image of you wrestling with the decision or, perhaps, with the images that ran through your mind as you made the decision.
However you begin the essay, be sure to give it a conclusion where you not only tell the reader how it all worked out for you (which you already do) but also discuss the subject of the essay: The process of making a difficult decision.
Next, grammar. I notice that, like many non-native English speakers, you sometimes mix up your prepositions and sometimes omit or misplace articles. These are relatively minor problems but, in accumulation, significantly weaken your prose. Here are some examples:
One such decision that falls into the latter category is marriage.
M arriage is one of the difficult decisions because it is a matter in which two people who grew up in different backgrounds, [omit comma] and have different viewpoints live together later in life.
In 2006, my husband proposed to me, and I faced the most difficult choice that I had ever made.
Your introduction reads as if you were writing yourself into a topic. That is, it sounds as though you weren't sure how to start, so you just began writing until you found yourself at a place where you had begun to talk about what you wanted to discuss in the rest of the essay. This is a perfectly valid technique for getting started, but if you do this, you then need to go back and delete your first few sentences, so that you have a strong introduction. So,
"F or me, the decision to get married was also a decision about which country I would live in ."
Combine that sentence with your second paragraph and the beginning of your third paragraph, and you'll have a fairly solid introduction.